Parenting the Only Child

Practical parents knew the importance of family planning especially those who are living in the middle class and below economic status. Although budgeting is a lot easier than having two or more children to account for, parenting in the real sense of the word may be really complicated having an only child.  There are things to put in consideration in raising the ‘only child’:

Boosting Emotional Strength

Inevitably, being the only child – he becomes the center of everybody’s attention. The scenario would be - there is always someone to look after him, do something for him, bring him presents and gifts and he is even showered with so much attention that in some way or another teaches him to be emotionally dependent.

Adversities even small become too much to bear being confronted alone. Emotional strength comes from ability to control one’s emotion, create logical decisions and choices – parents would not go wrong to regulate some circumstances to avoid such weakness surface in your child’s upbringing.

Fight Zika Virus with this Mosquito Tent

It is very enticing for kids especially when you choose the color they love.  It is really like a see-through play tent inside the room.

Parenting the Envious Child

Turning Your Child’s Envious Attitude to the Positive Side

The past few days you have noticed your child has been speaking of a friend’s or a classmates achievements, new stuff and the like with an air of annoyance. One or two times, it may be a product of the child’s immaturity but more than, you should be worried that she may grow with it – the green cancer.  No worries, is it but normal to have such a crisis in a child’s life, my elder daughter has exhibited such too.

The Attitude Detection

When Angel was two or three years old I noticed that she frowned (means she never liked it) whenever I praised somebody else aside from her, even the children performing on tv shows, whew!  I knew that it may not come out from envy but maybe plain jealousy knowing her age.  I began telling her in a calm manner that she need not feel like that because she, her friend or that girl on tv can ALL BE beautiful, smart or witty at the same time – there is no need to choose or knock the other out. There is no competition at all.

Best Tips for Expecting Moms

There is no shortcut for excited moms-to-be, here are few guides and hints to help you cope on the firsts months of your newborn:

The Birthing Day

Prepare a hospital bag, so husband and family members will not forget anything in panic, fill it with:

- your comfortable easy-to-slip on clothes

- underwears (panties and brassier)

- slippers or flat sandals for you

- your toothbrush

- your own spare blanket and pillow

- thermos with hot water (or plug-in airpot)

- Distilled water (Wilkins or Absolute)

- Baby wipes (do not buy generic and cheaper brands it may contain harsh chemicals)

- plastic cup, disposable spoon and fork, plate

- your baby’s blanket (pranela/lampin), booties, gloves and cap to cover her on the first minutes. Name your baby’s stuff, the nurses MIGHT interchange them accidentally with other babies in the nursery (it happened to my firstborn, we got an old blanket/pranella and the new ones was given to another baby – do not worry we did not protested, we let it be…just wanting you to be reminded of it).

* medium size towel

* soap (for the baby)  to give the birthing assistants

*adult diaper for you (the first days after giving birth – you will get a heavy flow (like menstruation).

*70%  alcohol

-In a PLASTIC ENVELOP (put inside the bag):

*Philhealth/Medicard Documents and receipts (photocopied)

*Marriage Contract of Parents (original and photocopy 2pcs)

*Credit Card/Cash/ATM

*Black ball pen

* Be sure to have a CLEARLY WRITTEN COPY of your child’s name for the hospital to register – check on the birth certificate (spelling, date, parents’ name, middle initial –for sure check the whole document)

The moment you see blood spotting on your underwear that is the time...

Buying Clothes

Size

It is not so practical to buy lots of clothes for the first six months because your baby is growing too fast but still, there is another option if you still insist on buying – buy larger sizes (BUT not too big to swallow the whole of your baby!), that is to make sure that the baby can use the clothes for more than just a month or two and you need not buy another set sooner…

Color

If you are too excited to buy clothes for the baby and you do not know the gender yet – you can not go wrong with white and or yellow – it looks fine on both sexes.

Colorful (resembling flowers) clothes might attract insects more although they look really nice to see.

It is important to buy BIB too. Include it on your buying list.

Design

It is best to choose plain than the printed ones so you can easily see or catch even the smallest insect that might pester the baby.  It is also recommended in buying linens (pillow case and bed spreads).

Another thing to consider is comfort in clothes-changing, cotton shirts and undershirt (sando) might look best and comfy design, the cloth itself is the best because it is breathable but BETTER choose the buttoned or Velcroed front clothes even for overall (clothes with socks and hood) clothes. Babies are very delicate and might easily get hurt just getting the shirt out while the buttoned once can easily be removed by simply lifting her back while protecting her head. Make sure to get the one with smallest and buttons (sometimes hidden by a piece of cloth) and always check if they are still adhering tightly every after washing – accidents on swallowing is possible. Zippers might irritate the baby’s skin.

Comfort

Babies want to feel warm like they are inside the womb – especially in the cold days. Do not forget to buy her three-fourths shirts.

Choosing Diapers

Although the use of cloth diapers is the best for baby’s skin and comfort, busy ‘mom and dads’ prefer diapers that offer the same convenience plus more.  Considerations:

- the efforts (if you can pay for a laundry, good). The time you will spend on washing can be your rest timeo bonding time with your baby.

- the consumables like water bill, electricity bill (on ironing for disinfecting), detergent soap

To sum it up, it almost costs you the same, indeed! Why not choose convenience? There are diapers that feels like cloth and as soft as cotton. Do not go for the plastic ones.

Pagtuturo ng Bokabularyo sa Baby

Sa mga magiging mommy pa lang naririto ang mga epektibong pamamaraan kung papaano natin matuturuan at madaragdagan ang bokabularyo ng ating mga anak:

1. Kahit sa tingin natin sila ay napakaliit pa at ni hindi pa nagmumulat halos ang mga mata, kausap-kausapin natin sila sa mahinang tinig. Mga paglalambing o paghele (pagkanta ng pampatulog sa kanila).

2. Habang dumaragdag ang buwang gulang nila, ituro natin ang mga bagay-bagay sa paligid at sabihin sa kanila ag tawag dito. Kagaya ng kama, cabinet, halaman – maari din nating pagsalitin ang pagtuturo sa Filipino at English para pareho nilang matutunan ito. Halimbawa kung sa araw na ito ay puro Filipino ang mga salitang ituturo natin bukas ay English naman.  Huwag tayog magsawa – lahat ng bagay kahit sa lahat ng bahay, sa mga larawan o magazine man kahit anong bagay na makikita roon at maituturo natin sa kanila, sabihin natin sa malinaw na pagbigkas.

3. Huwag na huwag nating ituro sa kanila ang pabulol na mga salita sapagkat makakasanayan nila ito kaya hindi po ba may mga napapansin tayong bulol pa kahit bahagyang may gulang na. Nakatutuwa po ang gayong pagkausap subalit may masama poi tong kumplikasyon kaya maging sa iba pa nating mga kasambahay ay ipaalala po natin na iwasan po ito. Kapag sila ay nag-aaral na magiging tampulan sila ng tukso at mapapahiya na magdudulot naman sa kanila ng pagbaba ng tiwala at pagtingin sa sarili (low self-confidence and low self-esteem). Kawing-kawing na po ang epekto niyon – maari ding mauwi sa depresyon kapag dinamdam nila ng labis.

4. Bumili ng mga educational CDs/DVDs or mag-download ng mga educational shows, nursery rhymes – ang mairerekomeda kong ibinili ko sa panganay ko ay yung ‘Brainy Baby’ – nagtuturo ito ng mga kulay, hugis, bilang atpb. Sa wikang English. Ipinapayo ko ding turuan sila ng mga bagay na nabanggit sa wika natin. Kung English na ang mga listening at watching materials, Tagalog o Filipino na lang ang ituro natin – sapat na ang mga iyon para matuto sila sa kanilang edad.  Ang gawa ko po, dahil kami lang mag-ina noon pag-alis ng bahay ng tatay ni Angel, para mailbag siya habang may tinatapos ko ang mga gawaing-bahay o pagluluto; naka-play ang mga DVDs kaya habang naka-walker o nakaupo (naka-seatbelt sa stroller) ay talagang tutok siya sa panonood.

Warning: Tiyakin lamag po na nakasara ang pinto at tanaw pa rin siya habang may gingawa ka at kailangang lingunin paminsan-minsan lalo na kung naka-walker. 

5. Magkaroon ng kopya ng Mozart Effect o Beethoven na music/instrumental o anumang classical music sapagkat ito ay napatunayan ng pag-aaral ng mga siyentipiko na may kaugnayan sa paghubog ng katalinuhan ng bata. Ginagawa ko naman iyong background music habang natutulog sila Angel at Riana simula pagka-baby nila. Kasi habang gising hindi nila iyon gaanong ma-aapreciate kapag tulog na-iistimulate ang brain nila sa pamamagitan ng ganitong tunog.

6. Para hindi maging boring sa bata ang pagtuturo halimbawa sa pagbilang, gawin ito kasama ng regular na pang-araw-araw na aktibidad gaya ng pagkain ng mallows, o minsan bilangin ang toys. Iwasan ang madami, idepende/i-akma ito sa edad kung baby pa at ni hindi pa talaga nakapagsasalita – kahit hanggang tatlo lamang muna ang paulit-ulit ituro o kapag mga anim na buwan hanggang bilang lima, bilang sampu at kapag isang taon na kahit hanggang dalawampu. Pero kung dadaanin ito sa musika, mayroon kasing mga children’s songs na naka-incorporate ang pagtuturo ng pagbilang, hindi po ba? Sikapin po nating maibili sila nito. Patutugtugin o ipapalabas naman natin ito kapag naglalaro sila ng stuff toys at hindi rin kasi sila gaanong ma-iinteresado kapag iyon lamang talaga ang haharapin nila. Ang goal natin dito mapasabay natin silang kumanta sa tugtog kapag na-memorize nila ito (sapagkat lagi nila itong naririnig). Hindi nila napapansing natuto na rin silang bumilang o mag-recite ng abakada.

The 'Pros' and 'Cons' of Gadgets on Children

My children before were asking for dolls or other toys on special occasions likethis upcoming school closing. But nowadays, they are really influenced by high technology too, they opt for a touch screen, tablet or notebook for a gift.

Noon ang hinihiling lang na regalo ng mga anak ko ay manyika, clay o iba pang laruan sa tuwing may okasyong gusto nilang makatanggap ng regalo gaya nitong nalalapit na pagtatapos ng pasukan/klase. Talagang hindi na mapigilan ang epidemya ng teknolohiya – pati mga bata ay naiimpluwensiyahan na din. Bakit kamo? Itong mga anak ko, sampu at pitong taong gulang gusto na din Android cellphone, tablet at notebook pa kamo!

My firstborn Angel had her earliest try on computer when she was four. I can remember the trending game then is Farm Mania. She was just watching me and her father at first then we never really notice when she plays by herself without our guidance. By five, she also learned MS Word basics typing/encoding and drawing on Paint app.

Yung panganay kong si Angel ay nagsimulang humawak ng computer noong apat na taon pa lamang siya. Naalala ko uso pang game noon ang Farm Mania. Nanonood lang siya sa amin ng tatay niya sa simula hanggag sa hindi na lamang namin napansin na naglalaro na pala siyang mag-isa.  Limang taon naman siya nang matutong gumamit ng MS WORD ang encoding at pagguhit sa Paint app.

I wonder what is the difference between the hobbies of today than that of the old days. Basically, studies prove that more and more children get obese at a younger age because they cut on exercise or body movement – instead of doing some other things that would make them sweat they tend to get satisfied sitting around while playing games on their Android gadgets. 

Parenting Issue: Juvenile Attraction

My ten year-old daughter suddenly becomes so conscious with how she looks, the mirror on the wall that has been hanging there for a long time begging for attention now turned into my Angel Reign's favorite nook.

Ang aking sampung taong-gulang na anak ay bigla nang naging mapansinin sa hitsura niya, yung salamin na matagal nang nakasabit sa dingding na tila nagpapansin ay naging paboritong sulok ni Angel Reign.

Oh my! I am surprised to find-out that she is a little bit getting serious with having a crush. Imagine having her crush's name as her mobile hotspot's password?! Before I am just vexing her about this boy,  a friend's son, who is known to be her admirer.  Just a  not so serious thing at all.

Naku, nakagugulat na tila baga seryoso na siya sa pagkakaroon ng nagugustuhan. Mantakin mo pangalan ng crush niya ang password ng wifi hotspot ng cellphone niya?! Dati-rati nakikiharot lang ako sa kanya dun sa anak ng kaibigan namin na batang may gusto raw sa kanya. Biro-biro lang ba...

Children need to feel that parents are open to the idea of them having such feelings that naturally occur sideways during puberty. As their physical body changes, the hormones that brought those changes also affect their mental and emotional being.  And it is important that they know that this  is a 'welcome thing' because this is crucial getting their trust in this very important matter that really needs extreme parental guidance.

Kailangan ng ating mga anak na makaramdam na tayong kanilang mga magulang ay bukas sa ideya ng pagkakaroon nila ng gayong damdamin na kasabay na sumusulpot sa panahon ng pagdadalaga at pagbibinata. Habang unti-unting nagbabago ang kanilang pisikal na kaanyuan kaalinsabay nito ang mga pagbabago sa kanilang damdamin at kaisipan. At mahalagang malaman nila na 'ayos lang' sa atin ito dahil malaki ang kinalaman nito sa pagkuha natin ng tiwala nila sa mga ganito kaselang bagay na tunay na nangangailangan ng patnubay nating mga magulang.

If we, parents, get impulsive upon hearing the most handsome guy or the prettiest girl or the brightest in the class who has often been the hero in your child's stories  then took it negatively and scold the child about it, we are just teaching them to start lying sooner or later. Of course, we have a hint right away of what is 'between the lines' - no matter how we deny, this is part of their growing-up.  What is important is that we make sure, we are ready to listen and they are confident that we are a FRIEND.

Kung magpapa-bigla-bigla tayong mga magulang sa sandaling makarinig tayo ng mga kuwento ng ating anak kung saan bidang-bida ang pinaka-cute o pinakamatalinong bata sa klase - kapag nagalit tayo o nagsermon - matuturuan natin silang magsinungaling o magtago sa kinalaunan.  Syempre, nakakahalata na agad tayo kahit hindi pa tuwirang sabihin ng bata sa atin ang nararamdaman- kahit anong tanggi natin, bahagi ito ng paglaki nila. Ang mahalaga matiyak natin na handa tayong makinig at tiwala sila na tayo ay 'kaibigan'.

Parents too will feel secure having the confidence that children turn to them in all sort of these changes - along the way, advices on how the child should properly react on some situations they might encounter, we can freely give them without any hint of rejection on their part.

Children's Awareness on Sex for a Good Cause

When to educate children about sex? No matter  how we delay, awareness and curiosity become our children’s companion as they grow-up since we could not regulate shows on tv (here in the Philippines, censorship is implemented by MTRCB – but there are still not so hot scenes left unedited for the sake of some stories). Although children did not see the actual intercourse, no matter how we try, the scenes before it are enough to arouse their curiosity – seeing two people kissing, undressing etc. And without our knowledge some of their peers might be the culprit too – those who have parents who collect pornographic materials who became irresponsible in storing them. Those who neglect their parental responsibility of keeping their children away from things they should not be in-the-know at an early age.

Potty-training Your Child

Most of first-time moms are really having trouble training toddlers to urinate and defecate in the comfort room’s toilet bowl. Don’t worry, you’re not alone! I have been through it before J Why? Maybe because the bowl is too large or too high for children even the toilet-bowl reducer could not help. Accidents are very likely, bumping head on the ground, toilet-drop-down too. Guiding is not that easy too. There is always a need for your supervision so they can move-out their body wastes neatly and safely.

Find your kid a potty, here is the tip for getting the right one:

- Longer hollow part (elongated not circular), to avoid spillage.

'Back to School' Parenting

Dispatching first-time schooler  is really a tough and huge challenge for parents who will also have their first child in school. This piece is all about dealing with the problems encountered on the VERY first day of your child in school.  How parents can be helpful with the children’s adjustment and some tips on school supplies , snacks and most especially communicating with your children the best way understandable to them making learning a great experience and that first school day motivating.

If you do not have much time reading this quite long article, just remember where you stopped and get back to it as soon as you have time again.  You might lose some important info if you are short of time.  Anyway all the articles are archived even the oldest one, just click “older posts” at the end of each topic you clicked-on shown on the right tool bar of this blog(Parenting, Tips, Current Issues etc.)

Talking to Your Child Makes a BIG Difference

Give her some briefing on what children do in school. Like saying something LIKE this…

-“You will just read, write and draw and even color, isn’t that exciting?!”

-Tell her the fun of learning. Remind her why children have to go to school. That she must not be afraid she does not know yet what they will be studying, tell her she is not the only one but all of her classmates.  And that is the reason why they have a TEACHER –to teach them.

-That it is enjoyable to meet some new friends , her  classmates. Remind  though that only during “break time or recess”, she can chat or play with them.

Tell your child of the:

‘Do’s and Don’ts’ while in School

-There is a time to snack on and to chat or play with classmates that the school and the teacher would allow.

Children can not chew bubble gum or eat their snacks while not yet break time.

-Wait for the teacher’s instructions on what to do.

 Teacher will say what she will need you to do, wait for her instruction when to get  crayons, pad paper, notebook or pencil.

-Be sure to familiarize her with the school supplies she got so she will not get confused.

-Children must listen while the teacher speaks.

Combat Your Child's Talk-back Attitude

We appreciate our children being open to us and talking about things that bother them. But this is the situation that is getting us upset, when we hear them talk-back.  Like you, I have been experiencing too much stress hearing my child answering-back whenever I discipline her for something wrong she did, it started when my older child was eight-year old.  

I am really troubled how I can regulate her.  It really made lose my temper that sometimes I cannot help but mildly hit her. Still, that hitting did not give her a lesson to learn to avoid her being like that again.  The “answering-back” is made worst by her unruly look – eyes piercingly-sharp matched with her creasing forehead.  Who will not explode, if you are the mother seeing and hearing your youngster that way?

Folding Clothes, Your Child Can Do it!

Here is my six-year old child, Riana Ysobel folding newly-dried clothes.  I just set-up the ironing board, the iron-rest serves as the hanger suspender and the board as her desk where she can put the folded clothes...here is her video with her older sister (Angel Reign) singing in the background...

Plus, tweet, pin or re-share this post if it inspires you to encourage your children at a very young age to do some light chores like it or you adore Riana and her "little job" :) Thanks for watching...Riana Ysobel will be happy to hear your comments :) Come back to see more of her.

Unleash Your Child's Potential II: Singing/Dancing/Acting

Here is the sequel to my recent post (Unleash Your Child's Potential: Drawings/Artworks )on helping your child polish inner talents/skills.  

Angel Reign
Won the Title and "Best in Talent "
and other Special Awards

Equip your child/children with the necessary tools to get her started:

• First, get the necessary equipment to do it.
• Buy professional microphone (I recommend Shure or Sony Brands - look for the Dynamic Supercardioid mic for noise reduction)
• Must also have quite good speakers and amplifier
• Mini-home theater will do. Make sure there is a USB port for practicality. 

• You can download karaoke songs from the internet for FREE.
• Sometimes wireless mic is better but most are not rechargeable

• In dancing, comfortable shoes and clothes
• Lapel mic for acting

The Importance of Strong Family Ties

I am meeting a lot of people in all the places we have been.  I usually get-to-know those who have aged alone - as in NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) or those who have settled down at the right age (mid-20s) and the ones who get hooked early as in "have a family at a younger age".  I am somehow (without them knowing) curious and observing, trying to find answers what led them  to live that way.

Growing old alone is not the best thing for anybody BUT it is not the worst for sure.  I saw the most unlikely situations in those who have had children at an early age.

Mama, my brother Jay-ar and my daughters

One thing I noticed with the families of those who have aged alone is that, they seemed content with their families. Their parents and siblings are very affectionate and they seemed to have an open-communication.  Those families are somewhat like a "barkada" or peer group but still respecting the parents.  

Unleash Your Child's Potential I : Artworks/Drawings

As soon as children age four, their inclination shows. Would you believe, my Angel Reign has shown her dancing prowess as early as she is just one year old - she danced while sitting (not yet walking expertly) hearing the bumps of a spoon in a cup while I am mixing my coffee. She is indeed a good dancer  as commented by her teachers and later on I discovered she can sing too. But mostly their other talents manifest when they can stand firmly or hold objects like pencil steadily. My Riana Ysobel showed hers when she is four.  She love to draw. In fact, I kept her drawings since then and it is more than a box now, I am really having trouble finding blank papers for her to draw on, she never stops asking till you give her :)

   

Riana Ysobel's "Our Family : Potato Version"
That's me her, her sister, and dad :)

Riana Ysobel

Tips to hone your child's potential:

If the day does not end without her drawing the family, house, the cat even just anything she has in her imagination, that is a hint she loves what her doing.  Here's how you can help her:

Loom Band Frenzy

Angel Reign's  loom band works

         

My daughter, Angel Reign, has fancied loom bands since she first saw it on national tv with a celebrity's daughter showing it.

Angel Reign is always wanting to video her loom-band making and post it on Youtube.  I told her to wait till I buy her a box of bands :)

The bands are as elastic as it is - it can be made into different things, your imagination is the limit.  If you are going to search the net, you will find different things made from the world-famous loom bands as odd as a mini-dress for real-life human.

"Colds" Help Plus

Angel Reign is just months old when she got a cold, being a first-time mom, I am quite  unsure of the best thing that I can do to help her with her stuffy nose especially that she does not know how to blow her nose yet.

Mothers MUST Know

Hi, how are you friends?  I have been reminded of a long-time/past incident on my

Me & Angel 7 yrs ago

eldest child that prompted me to write about this.  I think I should share this to you for you to be able to be more cautious with your children. Since this article is quite long, I have employed colors to help you avoid confusion on where you are reading ...

The Incident

My Angel Reign is about three years old then, a happy-go-lucky child who loves to

video herself on my mobile phone.  Just like you, I am always busy with the household chores and just glancing at her most of the times while washing the dishes etc.  A neighbor's child arrived and play with her, a boy who is around seven years old.  

Help Build Your Child's First Vocabulary

Babies' brain development starts inside the womb.  We can read books, pamphlets and most of the times pediatricians or ob-gyne recommend that we listen to classical music like Mozart Effect during and after pregnancy.  Listening to such kind of music is also advised for children while they are sleeping.

       

       Riana's Medals & Ribbons
      in Pre-elem 

                 

Angel Reign emerged as the Champion in English
District Quiz both in Grade III
(Buenavista District 2013) and Grade IV - Mono-grade (Calauag District 2014)

                            

After I bought a Mozart Effect CD I immediately transferred its content to my PC (CDs easily get scratches and does not last long) and have it installed on phone's memory too.  From the time my eldest (Angel Reign) is months old in my womb I am listening to that music and I have made it a lullaby on her every night sleep-and I did the same to Riana Ysobel. And to add to their first vocabulary, I would suggest the following based on my true-to-life experiences as a mom:

1. Start pointing things around to your child - saying the name of each thing. Like the pillow, blanket,

Security Reminders and Tips for Parents Part I : At Home

As the world gets high-tech, crimes move-up alongside.  I was deeply bothered by the news on television and on broadsheets.  There is no safe place at all.  Home or outside, even inside your car.  Sometimes the villains are just watching around, finding the opportunity where your children are left alone and might saw you walked-by going somewhere. I have here some helpful reminders and techniques for safety at home while you are away: