When to educate children about sex? No matter how we delay, awareness and curiosity become our children’s companion as they grow-up since we could not regulate shows on tv (here in the Philippines, censorship is implemented by MTRCB – but there are still not so hot scenes left unedited for the sake of some stories). Although children did not see the actual intercourse, no matter how we try, the scenes before it are enough to arouse their curiosity – seeing two people kissing, undressing etc. And without our knowledge some of their peers might be the culprit too – those who have parents who collect pornographic materials who became irresponsible in storing them. Those who neglect their parental responsibility of keeping their children away from things they should not be in-the-know at an early age.
What I am afraid of is how about when I am not around to glance at her?! There are these bad people who may had uploaded videos with spammy tags. Like for example ‘baby games videos’ – there comes ‘how to make a baby’ video that appears on the search pane while keying-in that topic! Oh my! That is why I asked my child not to browse on Youtube Channel when me and her dad is not around. Youtube is not to blame on this but the users who upload materials in bad faith. My Remedy: I asked my children to sit beside each other even having their own phone/tablet to browse on when we are in a wifi zone ad I am busy with some other things to attend to, that way they can watch each other’s E-activity. I remind them to tell me if somebody visits Youtube.
* Let us counter-educate them:
-They must know that reproduction (sex) is not a bad thing at all and it is the instrument of pro-creation that is why they became our children and human life still exist in this planet.
-Although they are young at age let them know that WE (parents) take responsibility of educating them (NOT to have sex per se of course!) so they will not be able to conceptualized sex as a ‘play’ or a thing that can just be done haphazardly out of wedlock and at their young age.
-It boils down to Values education - that they have to know that engaging in such acts HAS SERIOUS complications – morally, physically, mentally and later on economically.
-I suggest that the best time to do that is during Puberty. Schools in the country also included the topic of Reproduction– my daughter in grade five, they have tackled the topic on the first grading period in their Science subject, that is why I deemed it proper to teach them alongside.
-Not the obscene side of it (how it is done, not that!), we can teach them to value chastity – how these girls can protect themselves not to be sexually abused or for boys NOT to become abusive. Girls must be aware of body parts that should not be touched by the opposite sex.
-When they have to cry for help if something bad is done to them, the problem is their idea/definition of what is ‘bad’ when it comes to play or socializing. We have to enumerate what should be considered BAD.
A neighbor in Yaganak told me about this incident that involved a six to seven year-old girl and a ten-eleven year old boy who was caught both naked – the boy lying on top of the girl. Oh, my! If the both children could have known the limitations of playing and if they could have been given some reminders that could NOT happen!
Possible Reminders to Avoid such:
- the body parts that should not be touched
- no naked playing.
- no playing alone with a boy inside a room or playing tent alone. Boys get curious when they see things on tv and wants to try this or that…
- no hiding in blankets while playing with boys
- no man can ask them to go somewhere alone even a close relative that is known to have a drug-related or alcohol addiction. (This is not intended to harm anybody BUT for the sake of the child’s protection especially little girls sometimes even older ones if not properly informed).
Because we could not totally isolate our girls from the boys’ population, let us teach them be on guard. Children will not properly grow socially if we opt to separate them, however there are private schools that offer all-girls enrollees if desired- the exposure to the opposite sex is lessen as well as the risks that goes along.
Read : Mothers MUST Know
Embarking on a lesson requires discreet approach coming from a respected mother/parent. Being at the age of Puberty – their body is capable of reproduction, children must be aware of what is ‘sex’ especially the pertinent situations (sometimes lead to ABUSE) and outcome (teenage pregnancy) related to it for them to avoid ending-up in a regretful and shameful situation later on JUST being curious and uninformed.