I am meeting a lot of people in all the places we have been. I usually get-to-know those who have aged alone - as in NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) or those who have settled down at the right age (mid-20s) and the ones who get hooked early as in "have a family at a younger age". I am somehow (without them knowing) curious and observing, trying to find answers what led them to live that way.
Growing old alone is not the best thing for anybody BUT it is not the worst for sure. I saw the most unlikely situations in those who have had children at an early age.
|Mama, my brother Jay-ar and my daughters|
One thing I noticed with the families of those who have aged alone is that, they seemed content with their families. Their parents and siblings are very affectionate and they seemed to have an open-communication. Those families are somewhat like a "barkada" or peer group but still respecting the parents.
They talk about things that happened to them the whole day, their frustrations and their victories as well. What is with that? For me, I see it as the family members are content. They never seemed to look for attention and care outside home because it is right there in their immediate family. I think that it is a fact, because instead of confiding to other people they do it with their kin. This gave them strong family ties; that they trust their parents and siblings can understand whatever good or bad is there to know.
On the other hand, those youngsters who get involved in deeper opposite-sex relationships (and sometimes go through early parenting) has this communication gap in their families. The parents are both busy working to the extent that they are just seeing each other near bed time and at breakfast in the morning, no time to talk at all unless you want to get choked, afraid of being late in the office etc. It is not just time that stands as an invisible wall between parents and children but sometimes the parents, themselves. They never seemed to be approachable, just the shadow of the dad the son seemed to see to have curled-down his tail in fright! Whew! I hope that this is not the impression we have created, even moms.
The importance of giving our family stable finances MUST not be a hindrance to our rearing our children responsibly and having an open-communication in the family. Both are important but we must keep in mind that there is always something we have to priority. That is where BALANCE comes in. I am not against those who are working abroad, I am sure most of them have plans of bringing their families along with them in their place or maybe soon going home and will just establish own businesses - I just hope that these plans occur in the minds of all working dads, moms or both.
Yes, most (maybe not all) of delinquent adolescents are from neglectful parents or families. Do not mistake that I blame the parents for what happened to the children but let us realize that our children derive strength from us; that we need to morally support them in their growing-up years. These teenagers look outside their home for consolation and warm acceptance. At first they started confiding their sad stories till they feel strong attachment (esp. if that is just a single person better if three or more confidante that attention is divided). Real friends will be great during those crucial times. Better too if they go to the right persons but most of the times not. Others might take advantage of their weaknesses and abuse them in all sorts that they end-up more problematic. And the outcomes seemed not to be irreversible, a lifetime to deal with.
I have met this very admirable family -Jalla family who have such a great family ties. From the parents to their three pretty daughters and a son vice versa they have this open-communication I am telling you. You know what?! The eldest daughter who is twenty-seven have not had a boyfriend eversince, NBSB! The second child only have hers now that she is twenty-five, and she will not have had if her mother does not advised her to try having one if she likes the guy who is courting her. The daughters have flawless skin and such a knock dresser you will just be curious why at their rightful age they have not entered into a love relationship yet. The young lady is telling every detail to the mom and dad every bit of the holding hands and the progress of their relationship..we ended-up laughing together. I was chatting with Mrs. Emy Jalla I am just laughing true, but I could not help asking her "How to raised such wonderful kids?". And these youngsters, anywhere I met them they are very courteous greeting and smiling at me. One time, Mr. Teddy Jalla is our visitor he had to spend a night in our place for an important occasion although I am not eavesdropping on his phone call - he was in our living room, I just heard him asking his children if they are safely home - one in her boarding house, the others at home with their mom. Call-conferencing is earning from them! The family members, even apart are just like beside each other asking every detail like have they had their dinner and what they have for dinner. The location never seemed an obstacle, thanks to technology advancement:) I never heard of the whole conversation but I noticed they are a really good example of a "strong and united family"...am not paid by them but they are indeed worth mentioning.
|The cousins Dhelnor and Reinalyn|
Strong family ties play a vital role in the well-being of every family member. It must not be overlooked and I hope emphasizing it on this article will remind all of us on taking our part on creating a better unit of the society - the family.
Take advantage of technology -mobile phone, internet (video call) and the network promo offers for long distance calls to keep-up with what is happening with each other and to remind one another that there is not even distance can divide the closeness of every nuclear family. Extended family - the cousins, aunts, uncle,grandparents are also of great help on this matter. Soon we will see that these values will reflect on our children's personality - giving them stability of mind and emotions.
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