It is an additional expense.
It is I think not a problem to well-off but a BIG dilemma for an average-living married men. Yes, men is in the spotlight here because they usually act like a “hero” to their #2. Providing financial support (some mobile phone load, apartment rental, utility bills, paying on dates). This is quite shallow but true. The money you will spend for that “cheap” woman – cheap because if she is dignified, sure she would not hook-up with you if she is not, imagine to have spent it on an excursion or “eat-out” with your children or very own family. They will sure understand your budget and will always be happy you gave them such importance.
Reason # 9
Have You Dreamed to Become Your Children’s Bad Role Model?
This is not actually evident at the moment but if you are going to observe and root the childhood of most (not all) cheaters, the father or the mother did the same. Although let us not be prejudice, not all resorted to that; still there are those who have better understanding and rationale and have made it a lesson to learn from and not to become another cheater especially if they have suffered from the consequences. But some children who wanted to rebel because of hatred imitate their father. Do not bring your broods to dissent you and you will suffer all the consequences when you get old and sickly, do not expect them to care for you, seeing their mother’s grief and experiencing financial difficulties brought about by your supporting your mistress.
Reason # 8
Do You Want to Lose Respect from Others
For those who worked in government agencies (policemen, army, teachers, public servants), you are expected to be a role model. And there is a ruling that if you have that “misconduct/conduct unbecoming of a public servant” the authorities has the grounds for your work dismissal, not just your wife or your kids might report you – co-workers who are concerned to your family, the envious of your position and your detractors. As the consequence, people look at you as an indecent man, less dignified, immoral, unafraid of God and a lot more. Are you happy being referred to as a “chauvinist pig”? Oh my, I am sure you would not like it!
A Cause of Serious Damage of Spouse’s Trust
Relationships are based on TRUST. There is this saying of the author unknown implying that if you are going to be spy all your life then better quit in your relationship. Can you imagine your wife acts like she owns your mobile phone? Do not bother that you have missed any message, she is just there reading every message you received, looking at your phone’s register! Asking every unsaved number in your message and call log even others that are wrongly sent to you became the start of a “word war”... Annoying, is it not?! Let us pause for a commercial break:
“That scene is brought to you by cheating…gone are the days of trust! If you want more, then cheat more”.
You are the untrustworthy spouse, expect it. It needs no further explanation, you never had to wonder and be ignorant why you think she is worst! You made her that way. And the accompaniment is “nagging”, the two come hand-in-hand. Asking you why you came home late from work without waiting for you to initiate on telling her (when you are very tired it is just the traffic or some valid reasons why you are just an hour late) and all the whys you did not expect she will ask. Think back, is she doing that before? Well if not, that is most probably the aftermath of your “performance” in this movie called “Matrimony”.
Worsens Existing Family Problem
You are stressed with your wife always reminding you of the bills, the things you need to accomplish and sometimes criticizing your work or deeds, telling you about the problem-child and everything that stresses you then you find somebody else who will just be good to you and helps you forget all the things your wife is nagging you about- you called her #2, the mistress. You think running to another woman for a rescue is the best thing to do?
Hey man! Be open-minded. Of course that the mistress will NOT talk to you about the bills because you are not officially “family”, expect it from your wife. Your mistress may be shy to ask for money at first and will not drive you away by telling your speech is “empty” or your architectural design is worst, although if you look at the positive side, those comments from your wife is just a way to improve you and help you change for the better. Nobody has the guts to tell you that, even your subordinates if you are a boss in your own company or in higher ranks so be more thankful. The problem with your child, you are expecting your wife to handle it alone smoothly and for making you concern, diminishes your grade for her being a “better wife”. And you took that as a ground to cheat. You just did not know you worsen your family’s situation, having the financial troubles and all then, your “affair”.
And because of your narrow-mindedness you cheated, you just put yourself in a more complex situation and a humiliating one dear! You will find it hard to get away from that woman once she gets attached to you. If she falls deeply in-love with you, she might blackmail you to keep on going with the illicit affair. How bad is that?! You want to find-out for yourself?! Then cheat! You just added a stone to hit yourself on the head. Again, you did not plan to resort to an illicit connection but you did bring yourself near the well that is why you slipped…yes, because instead of running to your same-sex confidant or your parents or a marriage counselor you opted to be on the arms of another woman.
Reason # 5
You Can Find Yourself an Enemy
This is true. The relatives and family of the person you are having an affair with, will be put to rage because nobody in the right frame of mind would agree with you with what you are doing. Anybody who is religious will despise your manners or at the most, despise YOU. Good, if all people understand that it is not really the person but his act is the unbearable. No wonder why those people did not want to talk to you and the relatives of your wife will just be as furious as she is to you. No amount of money can redeem the emotional burden you gave your wife and your children. The neighbors will just be your friend when you are around but talk against you after you leave…guaranteed!
Reason # 4
Having an Affair is Stressful (might also lead to a Cardiac Illness).
Because of always thinking that your spouse might caught you calling, sending messages, dropping-by somewhere else after work or even taking care of scheduling when to visit the “disgraceful woman”, you made your pastime, it gives you a lot of stress may be in budgeting your money/salary too. Sooner or later you will have a cardiovascular disease brought about by the persistent stress it brings you every time you get-in-touch with that whore, sorry to have used that extreme word.
You Can Become the Villain in Your Own "Movie"
You became the main character of the movie entitled “Ruins"; you wreck your family, you wreck your concubine’s (if she is married like you) and lastly the future of that woman (if she is still single).
You are wrecking your family by putting your wife in grief, in the height of her depression she became worthless as she felt. Most of the cheated women lose self-confidence, became hot-headed, become negligent of the home and their children. You ruined the whole family. Everything is not on the right place as they supposed-to-be ; your wife is not inspired to do the chores, sometimes lessen her activeness in supporting the children in a way she never noticed at all being her mind occupied with where you are or what have you been doing outside home. You are the villain because you have made every bad thing possible.
You will wear “Necklace of Lies” (sinning to God)
When you are short of cash because of your mistress, you borrow and you have to lie. When you dropped-by to see her you need to lie why you came home late. When you deny the “affair” you know you are lying. Beware of the Holy Bible says:
Luke 8:17 NIV
17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.
That is Adultery.
Most of all, you are practicing infidelity that will sure result to adultery, a grave sin that during Jesus Christ’s time is penalized by “stoning to death” by all of the people who abhor the act. Cheated wives will be excited to do that to you and to your mistress, would you agree? But sad, adultery became a “fad” or a “trend” nowadays even tv series and movies have this topic discussed and sometimes mistresses are justified and advocated. People became used-to seeing such relationships around and there is no strict society rule for it. Adulterers cannot be handcuffed for doing so unless indicted and be caught guilty by a very long court process of prosecution. All the help we can do is by being not another “them”. If you are a God-fearing person, you should not commit adultery.
Here is a passage from the Holy Scriptures to remind us of our matrimony:
Proverbs 6:32-33 NIV
32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. 33 Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away;
I noticed that most people have this thinking that if you are having marital problem you are vulnerable to cheating (others thinking like that is being unreasonable) and if you cheat, you just have those prejudice people laughing at you and be angry being called as such because you proved them right.
Good if your wife is dignified and is not open to the idea of vengeance; doing what you have done – destroying herself. Because for men, having more than a wife is like a medal and for a woman, it is an unwanted scar! Let us change the way we recognize a real man, not by counting women but on his determination to be a good family-man. I hope I have inspired every man to become faithful to his spouse and to think twice on the opportunity of cheating.
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