Are you
among those wives having problems with in-laws most especially with your mother-in-law?
Is she
always meddling (?) with how you do things? In cooking? In doing
the household chores? In disciplining your children? Or even with how you
handle your responsibilities being her son’s wife?
First of all
you have to understand, that his mother is the former queen of your hubby’s
life. Yes, they have been attached since your husband’s existence. That is the
real reason why the m-i-l seemed so “cruel” to you, there is just some little
depression happening when they suddenly part ways as Mr. Hubby moves his focus
of attention to you.
You can
alleviate his mom’s (now your mom too) feelings through understanding. Telling her always that you and your husband
are just around and her child has just became children now. That there is now
the two of you.
If you are
living in a separate home (which is the ideal set-up), ask your husband to
come-along and visit his mom. It may help if you can bring something you have
made or cook especially for her, she can see the effort and time you put doing
that – that is really thoughtful gesture and you know it is quite relieving
because you will feel that you have made his mom feel important and happy. If
he is too busy to come-along, go-on with
your plans. You should make the first move to be near the mom. Admit it, sometimes parents have this
“pride”, and it is but right that children are humble and respectful of parents.
If you are living with your in-laws
and do not have yet a home of your own, be open-minded, be courteous, always
keep in mind that the home is not yours, you have to somehow be respectful of
your in-laws.
1. There are
things or room that you must observe privacy.
2. Do not be abusive like using the land-line for
hours, they might be waiting for calls too and things similar to it.
3. Treat the
home as if it is yours in terms of keeping it tidy. Learn
to assist in maintaining it. Put everything back in place. Make it a habit for
example to clean the bathroom everytime you take a bath. Even without telling,
they will notice such little efforts especially if they do not have a househelp
and mom is old enough to bend and reach every corner.
4. Sharing
for payment on the utility bills like water and electricity shows you care too.
But if they insist on paying them alone, let them. They are happy doing that
and helping you out. You can reciprocate their kindness in some other ways like
buying some grocery or things you think they or the home needs whether it is
just a little thing. I think I do not
need to elaborate this further and you know what I mean.
5. Buy mom-in-law vitamins or adult milk to keep her strong. Giver her flowers that is if you
have extra budget or save so you can give her on special occasions like her
birthday, no woman’s heart can ignore a sight of a bouquet. Give our olds
flowers while they can still smell them.
6. Praise mom for her delicious recipe and help
her cook like in chopping the ingredients and probably soon she will ask you to
do the cooking. That means she trusts you and she appreciates you are learning
from her.
7. Do not take criticisms negatively, you will
not learn and not be better if your mistakes are not made known to you. Like in
doing the chores, they have more experience than we have. And look at it
positively maybe she is teaching you the easier way to fix things and all you
can see is the terror mother-in-law behind the concern-parent she really is
behind that creepy image you have instilled in every corner of your mind.
Easier
said than done. But keeping that optimistic behavior above in mind will move
you to the right direction. There is NO good point in quarrelling with his mom.
Remember, your dearest husband will not be with you today if she had not given
birth to him. And one more thing, it will sadden your spouse to know of your
misunderstanding. It is always up to you to be more patient especially
sometimes the olds have become more sensitive, demanding of attention and
affection; this is especially true with widows having a single child.
Try to
set your focus on the positive side, see the benefits of the admonitions,
reminders, concern and forget about the word "MEDDLING". Since you are the one
who has newly-come to their lives, you need to adjust. Be natural, you need not
pretend to be someone else you are not and they will learn to love you the way
they love your spouse.
8. Listen. Learn to listen and avoid
talking back. Anybody who is angry will not flame-up if they are talking to a
tame person that is the best thing to do if you are caught red handed on a
mistake. That surely means, you are humble, accepting of your fault and
furthermore open to change for the better. Who will not love you? Remain sweet
and thoughtful. You will soon become your in-law’s pet. The heroine of her
stories and she will be proud of having you.
If this post somehow gave you some bright ideas you may want to carry along, I will appreciate if you can recommend it to your friends by sharing it on your favorite social sites, you can pin it, tweet it too :) If you have not recommended this BLOG yet to Google, it will be an honor for me, just drop by the HOME page of this blog and click on the G+ button on the top-left corner. If you are new to Google blogs, you can browse on other people's blogs by clicking the "next blog" button therein. Have a nice day and good luck to you my dear reader.
No comments:
Post a Comment