Becoming a Better Friend

You may not be the BEST friend around at least you can be the better one. Here are some tips on how to build long-lasting friendship, tried and tested.

Me and my friends from London and Cabanatuan

      Be Honest

Being honest has always been a good virtue. How can you trust a person who always lie? Even in just little things – a glib liar? I experienced that, telling you like this or like that only to find out in some other way or thru other people that it is not true.  Big things start from small.

Listen

Always have time to listen to your friend whether the story is happy or sad. 
  Listening does not necessarily means that you need to do or say something – feel proud that the person trusts you especially if what she is telling you is too personal; like family matters.

      Be Concern

Genuine Concern shows when you think first before you react or say something. You will not do or say anything that would make your friend feel more miserable or direct her to a wrong decision. Be concern like a blood-sibling.

     Do Not Say Anything that Would Not Help

A comment needs to be heard when it could help. Keep comments that could ruin someone’s day, like telling other’s flaws and physical defects.  Especially physical flaws, if it cannot be changed unless with a surgery! You will just add to your friend’s burden of thinking that she is not worth appreciating, later on lose confidence on herself.

Remember, you are not perfect too. And you think you are the best and maybe the prettiest but it depends on how others perceived you to be. I always believe that “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..”, every person has a different gauge on how others are pretty to them.-physical, mental or emotional aspect. So be careful.

Exception to the above is that if you notice your friend has body odor-this imperfection is corrigible, can be corrected. You do not have to broadcast it- tell her alone and offer remedies that could help. That is just an example. Constructive criticism applies here –criticize to help others improve not to destroy.

     Do Not Joke at Your Friend’s Expense

Okay, you made everybody in the room laugh but your very own friend, you humiliated your friend by telling her she looked like this or like that etc.  Your friend will be afraid to have you around again.

      Be Generous

Generosity is not just moneywise. Generosity on material things is for the well-offs, you can be generous with time, effort or affection.

Offer help if there is something you can do or give.  Do not over react that to be the best you will give what is left with you.  Sacrifice if it is worth the situation. Family comes first. Example, your friend tried to borrow money from you – but all you have is for your children’s needs just exact, abstain. Suggest some other way. Teaching your friend how to catch fish will benefit her longer than just giving her fish.

      Respect Opinion

It is okay to have your own opinion or choice but do not insist it.  The old cliché that “Everybody is entitled to his own opinion.”  remains true.

      Put Yourself in Your Friend’s Shoes

In whatever you say or do, stand in your friend’s shoes…advise as if you are in the real situation as where she is. Try to visualize what you want to say or do on your mind, the scenario- are you comfortable if you are in that same place as she is,  taking your advice?

Be Considerate

When you are considerate, choose the words to say. Being frank is better than mocking or disparaging words said indirectly.  Being frank is not being blunt, you can be frank in a kinder way, that is if you really need to say something that matters.  Consideration for others’ feelings is the root of good manners and right conduct.

     Be Trustworthy

No matter what happens, secrets are secrets. Everything said that need to be kept must be kept even there is misunderstanding. Trustworthiness is honesty’s sibling.

Ready to change for the better? 

First posted at rainaysobel84.xomba.com on a different title.

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